Parody Party
by Dynn Dynn Dittany Beans
Summary: Well, this is my ficcie about all of the Mary-Sues and other flowery tales and unlikely happenings.
1. Sevvie Jr

Hello all :)!!!! I know you missed me......Well, whether you did or not, here's my latest. It's just so fun to make fun of people that I am writing this lovely parody fic. I will make fun of all of the Mary-Sues and other mushy flower fests that some demented crazys put on here.  
  
Disclaimer: well, as much as i wish i did, i dont own harry potter or anything like that. Plz dont sue!  
  
Chapter One: Snape and Hermione  
  
One day, Hermione was late coming to.....or was it leaving potions? Who knows.....ANYWAYS - What was this? Did she hear Snape CRYING? She went to explore and found the potion master in the fetal position on his desk. "What's wrong Professor?" Hermione exclaimed. "Don't bother me Miss Granger.I have a horrible secret and if anyone finds out my life/career will be over!"he snapped at her "Oh professor, i feel sooooo sorry for you.Let's have a secret and cladistine affair that could ruin both of us!". So they did. After weeks of holding in this quite disturbing secret, Hermione finds out she is pregnant. She is 16 and shall have the secret love child of Severus Snape! So she naturally tells Harry, but not Ron because of him being such a mental case, ya know. Ron may just explode or at least hemorage if anyone says a word about Hermione not being perfectly faithful to him, of course. So now Harry is in on the secret. This is a huge and very concealed secret, so of course all of the Slytherins seem to know SOMEHOW. Not that Snape told them, it was just very convenient to the plot to make the Slytherins taunt Hermione. The story ends when Voldemort shows up, killing Snape in a long, boring, drawn out battle. Hermione is heartbroken and confesses to everyone that she is pregnant with Severus's child. Ron gets so mad that he has a coronary and dies. But we were all expecting that, right? Hermione is heartbroken again. When her greasy haired little bundle of evil arrives, she names it Severus Jr. after its father, even though the baby is a girl.  
  
Hehehe. That was fun to write. Ok-u know the routine-R&R!!!!!Plz? Free "Parody Party" T-Shirts to the first 15 reviewers! Jk. If you have any chapter suggestions then tell me and i'll write you your very own chappie. 


	2. Little Harry Snape

Thank you sooooooooooo much to my four wonderful reviewers!!You guys are great! You all make up for that other lousy review. Thanx for the ideas too!  
  
Disclaimer: Umm......I dont want to say it, so I wont......Yes, I own Harry Potter.....I am a pregnant British millionaire......anyways, a girl can dream :) (not about being pregnant). Just kidding-dont own a thing here.  
  
Ok heres the second chappie:  
  
Chapter 2: Snape and Harry  
  
Harry was looking through pictures of his parents when something caught his eye. His mother was waving a sign that read "SEVERUS SNAPE IS YOUR FATHER". "What can this mean?" Harry muttered to himself. He decided to ask Hagrid about the photo, for Hagrid knows all. " What is this picture?" Harry asked Hagrid. "Er....well Harry, that is your mother confessing that she had a lustful affair with Professor Snape and you were a by-product.". "That doesn't help me very much." Harry thought. "Will I ever find out what this picture means?" The tiny photo of his mother was now doing Morse code: your......father.......is.......severus....... snape.......... " This is confuzzling me...." Harry thought to himself. Oh no! Harry had accidentily run head first into Profeessor Snape! Snape sees the picture and is alarmed. "What do you know about that picture Potter?" He hisses. "Well, I think my mother is trying to tell me something, but I just cant figure out what!" Harry exclaimed, looking sadly at the photogragh, in which his mother was signing "Snape is your father." repetitively. Then Harry and Snape somehow end up in a room containing Voldemort, and Ron, and Hermione. Sometimes other odd characters like Dobby the house elf or Draco Malfoy or Peter Pettigrew, depending on the mood. Voldemort "Avada Kadavra's" Harry, but Snape jumps in front of it just moments after revealing that he is Harry's father in a very Darth Vader- esque voice and dies. Harry blames him self for not figuring out the meaning of the picture sooner, but he has a huge feast in his honor and wins the house and quiditch cup, so he forgets soon.  
  
TeeHeeHee. SOOOOOOOOOOO much fun!WELP R,R,AND CYA LATER!!!! Sorry my chapters are so short I'll try to make the next ones longer! 


	3. Hermione is pretty!

Disclaimer:You caught me. It's not really all mine, but I wish it was. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!!!  
  
Oh yes- this chapter is for Ivory Tower cuz it was her idea.So -  
  
Chapter 3: Hermione is officially the most beautiful person on the planet.  
  
Hermione was just strolling around the lake one fine day. She had suddenly abandoned her school robes to wear a glittery prom-esque dress and lovely glass slippers. Now, you would think Dumbledore would have something to say about this, but since he was in love with her, he didn't. In fact, the entire male (and part of the female if you are into slash fics!) population was madly in love with the green....or...orange...or blue....or what ever color her eyes are these days.....eyed goddess. She was suddenly beuatiful since her hair was no longer an afro and she now had a figure! She was have a mad love triangle with Draco, Harry, Snape, Ron, Dumbledore, Lupin, Dobby.....just about everybody. Not exactly a triangle, but thats fanfiction for you! Hermione was the most stunningly gorgeous person any of the Hogwarts residents had ever encoutered. When she walked outdoors bird flew around her and sang and when she walked inside house elves threw rose petals in front of her to walk on. She was, of course, overhelmed by the masses of boys trying to win her over. In desperation, she turns to Snape/Draco/Voldemort/Lucius/Anybody evil for comfort. They have a steamy relationship, but this changes when they get in a fight! Hermione runs away, getting caught by Voldemort (unless Voldemort is the one she was having the liason with, then she falls off of a cliff or something)! Voldemort ties her up (she dangles by one hand over the cliff in the other scenario) until......who was that masked man? It was whoever Hermione was engaged to/pregnant with! They were officially married by the Dirve-Thru pastor in Las Vegas and little evil childern.  
  
This is long much loger than the others, huh? Well,ummmm.... sorry about that. If you sent me a suggestion and i haven't used it yet, i will dont worry! R&R PLZ! 


	4. Yes, today is a good day to be Draco Mal...

Oh! THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL REVIEWERS!!! I'm so glad that I am actually getting reviews!Keep 'em coming plz!  
  
Disclaimer: It's very simple: I don't own; you dont sue. Ok?  
  
Thank you Lady Lestrange for this lovely sugestion, I will use your other one for the next chapter! And as for your question to who he should be in love with, well.....you'll just have to see! ^_^  
  
Chapter 4: Draco is in love!  
  
One fine day Draco Malfoy woke up, thinking happily of making everybodys' lives miserable. Yes, today was a good day to be Draco Malfoy. As he was walking down to the Great Big Hall Place for breakfast, he noticed how stunning Pansy Parkinson was looking. So they ran off to a closet and snogged madly, for this seems to be the norm in Draco/Pansy fics. But this is not one. They accompanied each other to breakfast, where they ate with the other Slytherins. "Meet me in the common room at midnight." Draco whispered to Pansy, who nodded. Pansy left for class, leaving Draco alone. He glanced at his watch: OH NO!!!! He was going to be late for class! So he grabbed his books and ran out of the hall. He was sprinting down the hall when he collided with.....was that a walking stack of books? No, silly boy! It was none other than Hermione Granger. They started picking up their books frantically. But then....their hands met on a quill....(kissy-fru-fru-music)....and they snogged madly. Except they didn't even have the decency to get a closet. Kids these days! "Meet me in the Slytherin Common Room tonight at midnight." He said. And then they ran in their respective directions to class. History of Magic was extremely boring with Professor Binns droning like a broken vacuum cleaner. So Draco took to throwing things at his class mates. That didn't last long, seeing as Malfoy was scared of most of his year's slytherins. So he stared out of the window at a Care of Magical Creatures class. He saw a flash of red hair. "Those damn Weaselys! They're everywhere! Which one is it? That pansy Ron? Or that fruit Percy?" Draco thought to himself. But no - it was Ginny Weaseley. Was that Ginny? She looked way different, for now she had a figure. This of course made her a goddess like Hermione. So after the Dirt Devil concert that is called History of Magic, Draco sought out Miss Weasely. " Meet me in the Slytherin common room at midnight." He said. She was confused, but nodded. So, at midnight that night, three rather confused girls found themselves in the Slytherin common room. Draco was so happy to see them all there. "I call this game 'Erotic Relay'". He explained to them the long,complicated race that consisted of snogging each other, giving Draco a lap dance, and many other very naughty deeds and then ending in strapping Draco to a giant wheel and tickling his ass with Lockhart's giant peacock quill (from the second book) while calling him a naughty english llama and doing the macarena naked. Yes, today was a good day to be Draco Malfoy.  
  
TeeHeeHeeHee. That was really fun to write. I dont own the macarena or Dirt Devil. I'm so glad this chappie is longer and Hope you like it and it makes you wanna press that pretty little "Go" button on the lower left of your screen. Push it.....you know you want to.....Ok, well thanks all! 


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